Trump Is Perfectly Mimicking The Fall of Ancient Rome

New column by Lee Camp

Column and voice-over by Lee Camp

The Trump administration is clearly following several instruction manuals — George Orwell’s 1984, Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, Mike Judge’s Idiocracy, etc. But they’re also using the fall of Ancient Rome as their lodestar.

Here’s a list of some of the well-known characteristics of Ancient Rome during the years it was collapsing. See if you notice any similarities to the fall of the US empire.

1. Bread and circuses — keeping the urban population calm by pumping them full of food subsidies and public (often brutal) entertainment. While the US ruling psychopaths have abandoned the idea of making sure Americans can afford food, they have definitely gifted us the circuses. Trump just hosted a gigantic Ultimate Fighting Championship on the grounds of the White House. This is by far the closest thing we presently have to gladiators getting eaten by lions. (Even I would’ve tuned in if there'd been lions.)

   

2. Slavery and dependent labor. The Global Slavery Index reports that the US has roughly 1.1 million enslaved people plus 800,000 prisoners who are (legally) involved in slave labor. So essentially 2 million Americans are slaves. That’s not including the holy-shit number of people working for pennies in jobs that give them no benefits, rights, or dignity.

3. Massive inequality. The US just minted its first trillionaire (a space Nazi, no less). Meanwhile 50% of all American children live near or below the poverty line. Feeding America estimates it would cost $32 billion to feed all food-insecure children in the US each year. This means Elon Musk could feed them all for 30 years with billions left over.

4. Elite luxury and decadence. Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, and his Hermann-Göring-in-law, Jared, just announced they were buying part of Albania because they happened upon it while taking a swim off their mega-yacht, and of course everyone buys the islands they find when they’re stumbling around the world on yachts. Oh, yeah, Trump is also building a golden ballroom in the White House and had a Great Gatsby-themed golden party at Mar-a-Lago while food-stamp benefits were being cut off to the poor and hungry.

   

5. Political instability. I see no evidence of this in the US. Oooohhhh, right — the insurrections, assassinations, assassination attempts, bought elections, rigged elections (cough, Bernie Sanders 2016), gerrymandering, etc.

6. Civil wars. Sure, we don’t have men in blue and gray uniforms marching at each other in neat little lines, but it’s an easy argument to make that ICE raids are part of a war against our own people. And police officers murdering around 2,500 Americans a year and imprisoning more than any other country — That kinda sounds like a war of, by, and on Americans. I, myself, was within 10 feet of being killed in Charlottesville, VA by a white nationalist Trump supporter who was clearly at war with fellow Americans.

7. Corruption and patronage. Sure, some say Donald Trump is the most corrupt president in US history. (And by “some” I mean all.) But patronage? I doubt that. …What does patronage mean again? Oh, it’s the practice of granting government jobs, contracts, licenses, or other favors to political supporters and allies. Nope, haven’t seen Trump involved in that. Not even once. …Except for giving the bluing of the Reflecting Pool to a con-man / donor / friend with a company called Greenwater Services. But that’s the only time.

8. Ruralization — Wealth and power increasingly concentrated in great rural estates. Oligarchs invest their money in land and private networks rather than civic urban institutions. Well, civic institutions are indeed getting shredded quicker than the unredacted Epstein files in Kash Patel’s office. And the uber-wealthy do buy up land. Bill Gates is the largest private farmland owner in the US, and the recently deceased CNN founder Ted Turner owned land the size of Delaware. But unlike Ancient Rome, the pathologically rich in the US also buy up the cities. …So there’s that.

9. Christianization. A study out this year found that one-third of Americans consider themselves Christian nationalists or adhere to Christian nationalist principles. Trump uses the trappings of Christianity to attract followers — including holding up a Bible as a sign of strength after having peaceful protesters tear-gassed.

10. Reliance on spectacle for legitimacy — Roman emperors used ceremonies, games, religious endorsements, and military victories to appear legitimate. Power was based more on symbolism than substance. But yeah, let’s build a $400 million gold ballroom, spend $30 million on a sad military parade, spend $60 million on a UFC event, and build a 250-foot-tall Arc de Trump that will cost at least $100 million.

11. Nostalgia for old Roman virtue. …We wouldn’t even be talking about this if we could just Make America Great Again. …like the good ol’ days.

Hopefully you get the point. The modern-day United States is nothing like the Roman empire during its collapse. We’re doin’ great. …You’re just jealous at how awesome we are.

For my new standup comedy half-hour, go here — https://substack.com/@realleecamp/p-203064732